Lounge Lizards

I have written and erased at least ten paragraphs about last night's bachelorette party.  The problem is that it was so unbelievable I can't even begin to choose an angle to go with.
 
Should I write about the cheesy 70s lounge we spent the night in - dark red, blue, and mildewy?
 
Should I try to describe the absolute freak-show quality of the patrons?
 
Can I possibly describe the, uh, dancing talents of one particular gentleman?  (Words really can't do it justice.  The closest I can come to describing it is to take Gumby, staple on about 8 very long, flailing, skinny arms and legs, sort of ball him up, then roll him down a long hill.)   
 
Maybe I'm getting old, but seriously, it was like the Twilight Zone.  It was almost Weirdness Overload. 
 
Look over there!  That man should really take off his hat.  Wait a minute...that's not a hat, that's absolutely the worst toupee ever manufactured!
 
Look that way!  That girl looks like a short, chunky Elvira in that short, cut-up, spandex dress.  Oh my Lord, she just bent over and she's not wearing underwear!
 
Lookie at the table next to us!  That guy must have just come from a wedding and didn't change out of his tapestry vest and VERY poufy-sleeved shirt with the 6inch long tight cuffs.  Oh wait, he's wearing chinos and Rockports, so maybe he didn't come from a wedding, which means....dear God!  He CHOSE to wear that outfit!  And look!  Now he's talking to the waitress who's dressed up like a catholic schoolgirl.  She's putting her tray down, they are going up to the empty dance floor.  Look!  They're linking fingers, stepping back, gazing into each other's eyes.  The Poufy-sleeved shirt and Tapestry Vest Man and Catholic Schoolgirl are twirling around, slow dancing (almost ballroom dancing) to a bass-throbbing fast dance tune.
 
I'm telling you - it was like we were in the middle of some kind of 4 hour performance art thing.   Everything was just a little off-kilter.
 
It might be the best night out ever.